


And We'll Meet Again After My Lights Dim Out

by JustDuckinDont



Series: These lifetimes of ours are endless [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 06:29:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6893848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustDuckinDont/pseuds/JustDuckinDont
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa is an architect living in New York but things begin to change when she meets Clarke Griffin, the artist who seems so familiar but at the same time isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And We'll Meet Again After My Lights Dim Out

**Author's Note:**

> I've been referring to this as the One Day We'll Wake Up From This Crazy Dream sequel.

Snow swirls and plays as it falls. Finding any bare surface and covering it in white, icy mess but Lexa isn't paying attention. She isn't watching how it settles on the windowsill that looks in on her sister's warm kitchen. She isn't watching the way New York moves on despite its first snow fall in October.

 

Instead she focuses on the cutting board beneath her slender hands. The way the knife slices through peppers easily and smoothly. Juices leaking out onto the white beneath stainless steel blades. Anya moves behind her and she knows shes got a wineglass in her hand. Half full of red wine with her black phone in the other. Fingers expertly taping out a message and Lexa knows she is ordering someone around from her firm. Its her sister's day off but she can't seem to quit working despite it.

 

“Put the phone down An.”

 

“You know I can't do that Lex, the Blake girl will have a field day if I'm not giving her something to do.”

 

“Then let her, hell, you could've even given her the day off today too.”

 

“And let her turn into a slacker on my dime? No way.”

 

“Who says you'd have to pay her for the day off?” She knows Anya is staring at her back because her sister hums in thought. The sound so normal and soothing that Lexa can't help but to smile. A flicker of familiarity washing over her but she chalks it up to having grown up around it. “And don't tell me you haven't considered it.”

 

“I have but I was thinking of how mother always said you were the kind one.. yet here you are suggesting I give my assistant an unpaid day off.”

 

“I'm sure she would like a day where she isn't having to listen to you yelling through cold hallways about court deadlines.” She eyes the phone Anya is suddenly taping at again, “or having her phone blown up by you.”

 

“Maybe but wheres the fun in that?”

 

“Not with you that's for certain,” Lexa scraped the chopped pepper into the frying pan over cooked chicken. Stirring with a wooden spoon to distribute evenly before turning to face Anya. It was strange to see her dressed in shorts and a t-shirt two sizes too big for her. The red material hanging off one shoulder as her hair laid over her shoulders but it was all a welcome type of strange. Normally she was in black pants suit or even a tight black skirt in a blouse of whatever color she felt she liked for the day. Her dirty blonde hair pulled back into a tight bun but the sharp glare in her hazel eyes was what made the look for her sister the lawyer.

 

“Fuck you too,” Anya muttered over the rim of her glass. Taking a sip but pulling her eyes away from her phone. Fixing her glare on Lexa's green eyes but her lips twisted into a soft smile. “I missed you little sister.”

 

“I missed you too old lady.”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“I'll fuck off after I've finished your dinner.”

 

“And that's why I love you.”

 

“I know.” Lexa turned back to the stove. Sliding around peppers with the spoon as Anya wandered off. Her glass left unmanned on the kitchen counter beside her silent phone but after a moment Anya returned. Her bare feet loud against the hardwood floors beneath her as she padded into the kitchen.

 

“So.. I know its your birthday soon and I know you've just moved into that new apartment of yours but I also know that its pretty empty right now so..” Lexa turned to face Anya but her eyes focused on the painting she held. A simple black frame around the canvas but Lexa studied the image in earnest. “Its a CG original which I know you aren't that familiar with but the artist is good. She-” Lexa drowned her out.

 

It wasn't exactly a breath taking painting but she still felt a certain draw to it. As if the draw wasn't for the painting itself but for something else that she couldn't quite place. It felt like something she should have seen but never did. Something she should have known but never had the chance to. As if the woman in the painting was herself from a previous life but it was never something she put much thought into before and she wouldn't now. She still studied the painting, taking in the way the woman on the canvas leaned over a bouquet of flowers. The white and yellow colors muddled but still somehow brilliant as much as the woman was.

 

“Do you like it?” Anya asked, her bottom lip between her teeth in worry but Lexa nodded slowly. “Good because I'm going to make you hang it in your living room and if you don't then I'm taking it back for myself because..” she paused and turned the painting around in her hands. Studying it for a moment, “I don't know. It feels familiar but I think that's only because the woman reminds me of you in a way.”

 

“How so?”

 

“Well.. her eyes are green for one and the way shes looking at the flowers feels so right, so perfect that well.. yeah. She just reminds me of you, plus her brunette hair doesn't do much to convince me otherwise. All curls and awesome.” She sighed, pulling at her own hair for a moment. “You got the good hair in the family.”

 

“Yeah but you got everything else.”

 

“True.” She sat the painting on the floor, leaning it against her white metal kitchen cabinets. Allowing for the feeling from moments before to dissipate into the peppers and chicken when she faced the stove again. “Are you busy next weekend? The artist of that painting is opening a gallery here in the city and I got an invitation but since I'm so very single I have no one to go with.”

 

“Its not exactly my scene Anya.”

 

“Trust me.. I know but will you go?”

 

“I guess so.”

 

“Great! Put it in your calendar for Friday night at six. I'll stop by your place and we'll walk down since its opening right down the street.”

 

“Alright but only if you'll stay afterward and we order pizza while we watch a new show on Netflix that I've been wanting to try.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Now hurry up, I'm starving.” Lexa nodded hurriedly, dishing out cooked pasta then the chicken and peppers on top. Handing her sister a plate first then carrying her own to her sister's black leather couch.

 

–

 

Lexa carried the painting carefully as she stepped onto the elevator. Hitting the 2 key on the panel and the doors closing soundlessly. Terrible elevator music filling the space as she studied the painting again. That feeling from before returning in full force and she shuddered at the powerful surges that swam through her this time. Tugging at her heart and mind as if begging for a memory to rise but nothing came as she stepped off the elevator. Crossing the floor to her dark wood door, the numbers 206 in painted gold staring at her as she unlocked the door. Pushing it open with her foot and stepping in. Closing it with the same foot and holding the painting closer.

 

Flicking on lights and scanning her apartment. Barely furnished as she'd just moved in but a spot on the cream wall behind her couch called out to her. Telling her that it was the perfect home for her new painting and she set it down. Kicking off her boots and shrugging off her jacket before crossing into the kitchen to find a hammer then a nail.

 

She quietly set to work. Hammering the nail into the wall without measuring because she was willing to trust her instincts on this one. Even if she did manage to screw it up she knew Anya would find the need to fix it for her but she dropped the hammer to the rug before her brown leather couch. Hauling up the painting to hang it on the wall from the taunt wire at its back. She held her hands just off the sides before backing away. Grinning at the way it sat perfectly but it faded when she spotted the initials CG painted into the corner.

 

Those two letters felt familiar and she turned. Finding her laptop on the coffee table but instead of looking up the artist she left it sitting there. She would learn who the artist was next Friday. She'd probably even meet her face to face but for now she needed sleep.

 

While she expected herself to forget about the painting and its mysterious artist she found herself thinking about it. She thought about it while she drew up plans for a client's mountain home. She thought about it while she spoke to Anya on the phone. Listening to her sister hold her hand over the receiver to shout at her assistant. She thought about it when she sat down at a meeting with a woman who wanted to talk about the blueprints she'd sent days ago.

 

She thought about it in the shower, when she brushed her teeth, cooked her meals and watched TV. She thought about it the most when she looked up at the painting itself and finally on a Thursday evening she set down a perfectly sharpened pencil and straight edged metal ruler to grab her laptop. Typing in CG the artist and settling onto her couch to learn who this artist was but while she searched she realized she found relatively nothing. A private Facebook page and pictures of other works but not one of the artist herself.

 

_Maybe Anya just really likes her_ , it would make sense. An unknown artist that Anya had somehow managed to find and fallen in love with her work. But while Lexa knew Anya never was the biggest fan of art she found it increasingly odd that she'd start with this one. A woman who barely seemed to exist on the internet but Lexa turned off her laptop. Turning her gaze up to the painting again and that feeling returned but she looked away. Turning on her TV and settling in to watch a documentary before bed.

 

–

 

Friday afternoon came with a flurry of fresh snow. White littered the already damp sidewalk but Lexa pressed on. Her boots loud against the pavement, crunching every so often in snow that had managed to build up but she froze when she spotted a sign ahead of her. Simply reading CG in black against a stark white canvas on a worn wooden easel. Lexa steeled herself and pressed on but couldn't resist stopping to peer through the glass windows. The inside dark but she could just make out metal display cases.

 

“Gallery isn't open until six lady.” Lexa jumped and faced the speaker. Finding a girl dressed warmly in a thick coat, her dark brown hair falling over her shoulders in waves but her brown eyes glared in a way that reminded Lexa of Anya.

 

“I know.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“Yeah I planned to come then but I'm just walking home now.”

 

She smiled and held out her gloved hand, “hello then. I'm Raven Reyes, builder of those fine displays you can barely see inside because blondy isn't here yet.”

 

Lexa shook her hand, “from what I can tell.. they are masterfully done.” She smiled despite the girls earlier fire. Chalking it up to her impatience as she waited for the artist. “Lexa Woods.”

 

“Wait.. Lexa Woods? As in Alexandria Woods the architect?” Raven released her hand and shoved it back into her pocket.

 

“Uh yeah.”

 

“Saw you in a magazine once.”

 

“Once?” She laughed softly, remembering the article that Anya had talked her into doing. Saying it would get her more into the world of architecture and she'd been right. Her work had increased ten fold after the one article with pictures of her completed designs beautifully built. “And it'll be the last time I ever do one.”

 

“Don't go quitting your job before I've got the money to hire you myself.”

 

“I look forward to it.”

 

“I'm sure you do but I've got to go. Somebody has to start getting ready to open this pretty lady up.”

 

“Right right.”

 

“See you tonight?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Good,” Raven slipped past her. Producing a set of keys from her pocket but Lexa continued on her way. Teeth chattering before she made it inside her building. Riding the elevator pulled a hard shiver that never seemed to stop until she was in the warmth of her apartment. The lights off but the sunlight from outside enough to let her see. To kick off her boots and flick on the lamp beside her couch. The light filtering across the painting and mixing with the sun on the opposite side. Creating an odd mixture of orange and yellow light but as she stared at it. She realized she'd finally learn who the artist was that night.

 

She'd be able to ask her why that painting did such things to her. Why it threw her so far into days gone by that it consumed her.

 

She shook her head and walked off. Deciding to take a hot shower before Anya showed up, realizing she had a little over an hour before the gallery opened and she intended to make the most of it. She washed her hair and her body. Made herself a snack and watched the five pm news as she'd already picked out something nice to wear. Choosing to remain on the couch until her door opened. Anya stepping inside and closing the door behind her. Her hair already free of its usual tight bun and her white blouse untucked from the waistband of her black pants.

 

“Hey baby sis.”

 

“Hey An, how was work.”

 

“The same as it usually is.. had to tell off Octavia because I caught her kissing one of my juniors.” She wandered into Lexa's kitchen, undoubtedly pouring herself a glass of wine but Lexa was feeling that small spark of deja vu at Octavia's name. Like she'd heard it before and while she knew she had she also knew it was for a different reason beside Anya saying it. She'd felt it the first time that Anya had hired the girl.

 

Octavia felt so familiar that if she were to meet her she'd probably want to hug her.

 

“She has to learn that Lincoln isn't hers when shes at work but mine.”

 

“Young love is all..” Lexa offered when Anya spotted the painting behind the couch.

 

“You put it up.”

 

“Of course I did.”

 

“It looks good.”

 

“It does but that reminds me. How did you find out about this CG?”

 

“Octavia, they're friends. She brought in that painting on your wall one day, said she was holding it for her friend but the longer I stared at it. The more in love I fell with it. Ended up buying it from Octavia and I gave it to you.”

 

“So you've never met the artist?”

 

“No, I don't even know her name. All I know is CG.”

 

“I see.”

 

“We'll both meet her tonight.” She studied Lexa suddenly, “which reminds me. You need to be getting ready. Gallery opens in about twenty minutes.”

 

“Right.” Lexa stood and walked off to her barren bedroom. Pulling on clothes she normally saved to wear to meetings with clients. Clothes that Anya would consider appropriate for casual Friday at the firm. Black slacks and a dark green button up, a black metal watch adorning her wrist as she twisted her dark hair into a tight bun. Not caring to get particularly fancy with it before slipping her feet into a pair of black shoes that would leave her toes frozen before they reached the gallery.

 

In the living room she found Anya still on her couch. Sitting her drink slowly but Lexa wandered back into the bathroom. Applying some light make up to look at least a little more presentable and straightening her clothes before heading back up. This time finding Anya standing with her black coat on. Gripping Lexa's coat by the collar and her red scarf.

 

“Thanks An.”

 

“Of course,” Anya snuggled into her coat as Lexa pulled on her own. Wrapping the red scarf around her neck loosely, “now let's go.”

 

“Right right.”

 

Anya was quiet on the walk to the gallery. Her hands pushed deep into the pockets of her coat as Lexa's were. The two walking side by side but while Lexa found the gallery dark before. She saw it light up now. Light filtering out onto the dark sidewalk and Lexa found herself speeding up. Her heart for some reason picking up its pace and the pull she felt tugging at her harder until she was inside. Warmth seeping in through her coat as Anya slipped her arm around her waist. Leading her down between metal display cases but none of the paintings really called her attention like the one in her apartment.

 

These were different, they were more of the city and less of its people. Some of the outskirts of New York, even a childhood home but they kept walking. Coming to the main piece in the center of the gallery. The work surrounded by people that looked up at it and she wondered why they studied it so hard until she looked up herself.

 

This painting was similar to the one in her apartment. A woman sitting on a park bench with a bouquet of white and yellow flowers. Only the bench, herself and the flowers colored but the rest was white. As if the woman on the canvas commanded the attention entirely. As if there was no reason for anyone to see anything beyond her and it felt as if the artist painted her with such desire and love that Lexa felt herself feel it for her as well.

 

“Whoa,” Anya murmured beside her and Lexa knew she had to be feeling it too. “Lexa..”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“This feels like deja vu.”

 

“What?”

 

“I feel like I've seen this before but I know I haven't. I can't have.. I don't look at art that much but I just- I don't know.”

 

“Sounds like a reason to find the artist.”

 

“Yeah.. you're right.” Anya grabbed her hand and pulled her away but Lexa stopped when she spotted Raven. The woman facing her but speaking to a blonde woman with her back to Lexa.

 

Blonde hair that reminded her of sunlight, warm and gentle as it fell across her shoulders. Lexa pulled herself from Anya's grip and walked over with purpose. Her heart hammering in her chest when Raven spotted her. Waving her over and the blonde woman turned to face her as well. Ocean blue eyes forced her to stop in her place. Blue eyes that held the seas as they blinked at her in recognition and surprise. Blue eyes that held her captive as the woman approached her. Delicate pale fingers holding onto a glass filled half full with champagne as her free hand reached out. Touching Lexa's arm lightly but her blue eyes remained on Lexa's face.

 

“Do I know you?” She asked quietly and Lexa couldn't move. She couldn't tear her gaze away from those blues that she knew she'd seen before. She felt as if she'd looked into them a thousand times before but she knew that was impossible. She knew no one with blue eyes but she had dreamed of them once before. She'd dreamed of them looking down at her but now they looked at her in equal height. “What's your name?”

 

“Shes Lexa Woods.” Raven told her over the blonde's shoulder.

 

“Yeah.. Lexa Woods.” Lexa repeated after her.

 

“Lexa..” The woman spoke her name and Lexa had to blink back the sudden emotion that surged through her heart as the woman held out her left hand to her. “My name is Clarke, Clarke Griffin.”

 

Clarke? Clarke Griffin? The name sounded so familiar to her ears. She'd heard it before and there was no doubting that. She knew that name but she didn't know from where she knew it. She wasn't sure how she'd managed to hear it before that moment but she did. It was locked in her memories but somehow she just hadn't been aware of it. Blue eyes peered at her through long lashes as her thin, pink lips curved into a shy smile.

 

Lexa's heart skipped a beat at her smile.

 

“Clarke.” She spoke the name slowly, letting her tongue click on the K and the woman's smile brightened. Blue eyes flickering from side to side as she took in Lexa and time felt as if it were slowing down. Giving them the chance to drink in this moment the way they should be. “Nice to finally meet you.” Lexa accepted her hand gently. Her hand shockingly warm in hers and it was the first thing that felt new to Lexa. It was something she'd never done before. “Your art is..” she smiled, “beautiful.”

 

“Thank you,” she fell quiet a moment and the people around them walked off. Clearly no longer interested in their conversation but Clarke didn't seem to notice their disappearance as her demeanor changed. “Its you.”

 

“What?”

 

“You're the one in the paintings. You're the one I keep seeing in my head when I start painting. You're the one I dream about at night, I see your green eyes staring at me. I see them staring at me from a hospital bed. I see them closing for the last time before your heart stops beating. All I see is green green green but now I see you. Finally.. I'm seeing you and you're not a dream anymore. You're real, completely and totally real.”

 

Clarke didn't let her hand go and Lexa couldn't find it within herself to let go. She just kept studying Clarke and trying to place her because she knew she should be able to. She could do it but it wasn't coming to her as quickly as she wished it would.

 

“But you.. you don't know me do you.” Clarke is slow to make it a reality between them. As if partly wishing that it would click into place with Lexa but seeming to give up on that hope. “You don't remember me. You don't remember hospitals or... You don't remember instant potatoes with no soul and cardboard spicing.” Clarke begins and Lexa blinks at her in surprise because only Anya along with her parents knew she hated instant mashed potatoes. “You don't remember magazines about architecture, portable DVD players and documentaries. You don't remember blue scrubs or _me_.”

 

The way she says it breaks Lexa's heart into tiny shards. The tears that escape blue eyes crushes the shards into a fine dust and Lexa wants so desperately to remember this girl but she knows now that it won't come to her. Not right now. Not in this moment and maybe not ever.

 

“I should go,” Clarke murmurs quietly. Dropping Lexa's hand and leaving. Disappearing through a door before Lexa can move to stop her. She knows she shouldn't follow her and break her heart further but that desire still burns in her chest. Just before she can move to follow her Raven is front of her. Her dark eyes narrow and fury written across her features.

 

“What the fuck did you do?” She grabs Lexa by the collar of her button up. Pulling her closer and the fire in her eyes grow into an inferno. “What the fuck did you do!”

 

“Nothing! I did nothing!” Lexa responds but Raven is pulled off of her. The tight grip she'd had on the collar of Lexa's shirt is gone but a black button pops off from the force. Anya shoving Raven away then leading Lexa out of the gallery. Leaving them all behind.

 

–

 

Lexa sits in her apartment days later. Sharp pencil in one hand and ruler in the other. Her drawing board tilted so she can sit comfortably in front of it but as she sat there nothing came to her. The same as it had for days since she'd met Clarke in the gallery. The gallery was still open but each time she'd walked by she hadn't seen Clarke. Instead she'd been met by Raven's harsh glares and the iconic 'I'm watching you' hand motion.

 

She'd done her best in the aftermath of that night to explain what had happened to Anya but every time she tried it sounded like some crazy dream. Trying to explain the familiarity she felt and that no it wasn't just because she'd somehow managed to see her on the street before. She knew Anya couldn't deny the fact that she'd felt some type of deja vu in that gallery too but the woman did. She'd sat on Lexa's couch with a glass of wine denying it. She denied it over pizza and between episodes of the Netflix series.

 

But maybe she didn't want to admit to her sister that they both might be a little crazy.

 

Lexa set her pencil and ruler down. Staring at the blank page a moment longer before rising from her seat. Tugging on a pair of thick boots then her coat over thin soft shirt and jeans with rips in the knee. She knows this is stupid. Its snowing outside and had been since the gallery. It built up in the streets and on sidewalks but she left her building anyway. Gloved hands deep in her pockets but her hair loose and free in the cold breeze that washed over her.

 

Not entirely sure what she was doing but she knew there was something she had to do. She had to find her. Talk to her. Hope she could jog the memories that Lexa knew existed beyond the plain of her conscious mind but the only place she knew where she could possibly find her was the gallery.

 

A gallery closed.

 

The inside dark and display cases empty.

 

The girl and the work gone.

 

–

 

“You want me to do what now?” Anya pushes the cart ahead of her as they walk down the aisle. Pausing only to reach out to grab something then drop it into the cart. She doesn't meet Lexa's gaze to find the seriousness that sits there. She doesn't even seem to really be listening. As if shes trying to ignore what Lexa is feeling. As if what she herself had felt in that gallery meant nothing at all.

 

“Find her. That's all I'm asking.” Lexa sighed, “I know Octavia is your assistant.. she can-”

 

“She quit.”

 

“What?”

 

“Octavia Blake quit.” Anya shrugged, reading dates on jugs of milk. “Came in two days ago, threw her resignation down on my desk. Told me I was super hot but that she couldn't work for me anymore. Also said she'd bang me but I mean come on.. who wouldn't want to fuck me?”

 

“I wouldn't.”

 

“Thank god but anyway, she quit.”

 

“Did she say why?”

 

“Said she couldn't work for the sister of the monster that hurt her best friend.” She set one of the milks down and wandered off again but Lexa stood stock still in her place.

 

Monster?

 

She was no monster... or was she?

 

She managed to break Clarke's heart without knowing her. Break it enough for her to move her gallery and for her friend to quit working for Anya. It only made Lexa want to find her more but not if it hurt Clarke more. She wouldn't be able to stand seeing her cry. Not after it broke her own heart.

 

“Lex?” Anya waved her hand in Lexa's face to get her attention but Lexa shoved her arm away. “Lost you there for a second.”

 

“Sorry..”

 

Anya hummed in thought but let out a soft sigh. “If it means that much to you then I'll give you Octavia's number. You can call her, try to find the artist or whatever it is that you want to do. Hell I'll even represent you if blondy gets a restraining order against you.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Can't have baby sis going to prison. You'd be a prison bitch in no time with that gorgeous head of hair.”

 

“If you say so.”

 

“I do because I know.”

 

“Only because you've been watching _Orange is the New Black_.”

 

“Yep,” Anya chuckled and pushed her cart further down the aisle.

 

–

 

The numbers stared at her from where she'd taped the slip of paper to her drawing board. She felt eyes peer at her from between the eights, threes and even a six but she refrained from calling. It had only been a day since she'd gotten it. The desire to type it into her phone grew stronger by the hour until it consumed her mind. The home she'd been working on seemed to take on the shape of an eight and that was when she knew she had to do it.

 

She grabbed her phone and dialed the number. Waiting with bated breath for it to pick up and when it did she lost her words.

 

“ _Hello?”_ The voice asked and Lexa swallowed thickly. _“Helloooo? Is this some kind of bullshit prank call. God I swear if this is you Raven calling from some guys phone I'm going to kill you in your sleep.”_

 

“Um, so-” She began hesitantly.

 

“ _Who the hell is this?”_

 

“Lexa.. my name is Lexa.”

 

“ _Nope.”_ Octavia promptly hung up and Lexa frowned at the dial tone she received before calling again. The call not even being picked up this time and Lexa gave up. Setting her phone down but not before hitting play on a playlist then setting it down on the table beside her. The music beginning as she erased the eight she'd managed to create before continuing.

 

She hummed along to the songs. Not hearing her apartment door open or the loud sound of heels against her floor. Her focus taken entirely but she jumped when a hand rested on her shoulder. Spinning in her seat to meet hazel eyes that stared at her worriedly. Her sister dressed as if she'd just gotten off work and she probably had.

 

“Hey Anya.”

 

“Hey Lex, hows the work coming?”

 

“Fine I guess.”

 

“Did you call?”

 

“Yeah.. she hung up on me after she got my name.”

 

“Of course she did. She hates your guts for hurting Clarke.”

 

“I know but.. I just.. I know I should be able to remember but I can't. I-”

 

“We're not going into this again.” Anya told her with an exasperated sigh.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Make it up to me by turning off that depressing music you've got playing.” Anya grabbed her phone but Lexa took it back from her. Shoving it into her back pocket and letting the music continue despite the scowl she received.

 

“Its I don't know by Nick Hakim and its not that depressing.”

 

“Its about someone leaving or dying or whatever. Its depressing.” She walked away but Lexa followed. Turning up the volume and humming along until it got to the chorus.

 

“ _Where did you go, where did you go, I don't know.”_

 

“You're such a dick.”

 

“ _Where.. I don't know, I don't know.”_

 

“I hate you.”

 

“ _One day we'll wake up from this crazy dream, we'll meet again after my lights dim out and I'll be wondering.”_

 

“I'm leaving and taking my food with me.” Anya threatened and Lexa immediately turned the music off.

 

“Wait! No! I'm done!”

 

Anya turned and studied her before nodding in approval. “Good.”

 

“But what did you bring?”

 

“Pizza.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I know.” She opened the red and white box. Plating pizza for both of them before handing one over but holding it just out of Lexa's reach. “You can have this if you agree to go out with me Friday.”

 

“Out where?”

 

“A bar.”

 

“Where?”

 

“The Dropship downtown.”

 

“Sounds fake but okay.”

 

“Good, you need to get out more. I swear you're always alone unless I'm here.”

 

“I go out sometimes.” Lexa defended herself. Accepting the plate from her sister before sitting on her couch.

 

“Yeah to meet with clients but that's about it.”

 

Lexa shrugged, too busy eating to defend herself.

 

–

 

“You look like a raging lesbian.”

 

“Well I kind of am a raging lesbian Anya.” Lexa responded but she had to agree. She did look super gay but she felt good about it. From the black boots, black skinny jeans and green button up still missing a top button with the black metal watch completing her look she felt good. She felt hot and she smiled to herself. Maybe she was hot enough to take a pretty lady home to get her mind off Clarke and the missing memories for a a few hours.

 

The cab ride to the bar was a quiet one but the bar itself wasn't at all quiet. She could hear the music from the outside. Loud and fast then louder still once they walked in. Anya immediately leading her to the crowded bar and getting them both drinks. Just beer but Lexa knew that would change as the night progressed.

 

“Is it just me or is this beer a little on the warm side?” Anya asked just after they'd sat down in an empty booth and Lexa wondered if this bar doubled as something different during the day. “I hate warm beer.”

 

“I'm sure it hates you too An.” Lexa silently agreed that it was a little warm but she scanned the floor of the bar. Finding other people either standing with drinks in their hands as they chatted among themselves. The opposite of the bar seemed to hold the drunks who decided to dance off the alcohol. “But yes it is a little warm.”

 

Anya huffed but sipped at it anyway. Grimacing before suddenly chugging it and Lexa assumed by the act that she'd had a bad day at work. Either still trying to hire a new assistant or putting up with the extra load herself. She stood suddenly and made a beeline for the bar. Pushing through the crowd but Lexa took to ripping the label off her bottle. Tearing it to shreds and humming along to the song that played.

 

“What the hell do you think you're doing here?” A voice asked rather loudly from beside Lexa and she looked up. Finding Raven standing there with two empty beer bottles between her fingers and a tight white shirt reading _The Dropship_ in red. “You've got to get out and fast.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

“Because I don't like you. Plain and simple. In fact I hate your fucking guts. I hate your stupid face and your stupid shiny watch so get out.”

 

“Look Raven.. I didn't mean to hurt her, I-”

 

“I don't give a shit what you meant to do! You hurt her!”

 

“I'm sorry.” Lexa stood up and Raven stepped back. “I'll go alright.”

 

“Sit back down Lexa.” Anya appeared at Raven's back, shoving her away. “We're not going anywhere.”

 

“Yes you are.”

 

“Nope.”

 

“I'll call the cops.”

 

“Do it, I'll argue my ass off in court because its my job kid.” Anya shot back and Raven scowled. The exchange seeming to draw attention as a man approached. Brown eyes narrowed as he scratched at the dark curls atop his head.

 

“What's going on over here?”

 

“That's the one who hurt Clarke.” Raven tells him quietly but the man is meeting Lexa's gaze then switching to Anya's. “Lexa Woods.”

 

“Is that so..” He sets his hands on the table and leans over. Studying Lexa in earnest before holding out a hand to her. “Hi, I'm Bellamy Blake. Owner of this fine establishment.” He tells her but she doesn't respond just yet.

 

His name is familiar like Octavia's is. She has heard it before but shes never been to this bar. She didn't know it existed until Anya told her about it that night. She feels the urge to ask him about the military but she refrains because even if they weren't in this moment it wouldn't be appropriate. She sucks in a breath but takes his hand firmly. “Lexa Woods.”

 

“So I've heard.” He lets her go quickly then meets Anya's gaze before returning to Lexa. “You hurt our dear Clarke.”

 

“I know and I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention.”

 

“And we're not the ones you should be apologizing to.” He straightens up and turns his eyes over the tops of heads towards the bar before looking back down at her. She knows he is thinking hard about something. She can see it in his eyes but then he looks back towards the bar. Quickly glancing down at Raven then back to Lexa. “Come by here tomorrow at twelve.”

 

“Why Bell?” Raven asks before Lexa can but Bellamy doesn't respond to her. He leaves and takes her with him. His arm across her shoulders.

 

“That was weird but if he kills you then I'll be sure to put him in prison.”

 

“Thanks sis.” But she isn't even sure if she'll come by for whatever it is he wants.

 

–

 

As it turns out she is at The Dropship before twelve. She sits across the street on a bench with a coffee cup in hand but she is there. She can see Bellamy at the bar through the windows and she knows he can see her because he meets her eye at least once before she stands. Crossing the street carefully then stepping inside but no one except for Bellamy looks at her. The other patrons in the bar sip at their coffee or nibble at the food before them and she knew she'd been right. The bar did double as something else.

 

“Take a seat Woods,” Bellamy tells her. Pointing to a seat at the far end of the bar near a doorway leading to the back and she sits on the red leather cushion. Setting her coffee down on the bar but Bellamy doesn't walk over to her just yet. Instead serving a customer and Lexa looks up at the TV behind the bar. Listening intently to the news but she is torn away from it when Bellamy finally walks up. “You came.”

 

“I did.”

 

“Thought you'd sit outside forever.”

 

“I was making my peace with whatever being exists before you killed me and turned me into the sausage.”

 

“Ha, funny,” but he doesn't smile.

 

“I plan to pursue a comedy career if I live past today.”

 

“Don't.” He shakes his head but leans against the bar. His fingers tapping against the smooth dark surface before he decides to speak. “You need to apologize to Clarke. Its been weeks but shes still..” he seems to struggle to find the right words but appears to give up as he shrugs. “Shes fucked up. Let's just put it that way.”

 

“I-”

 

“Don't make it worse.” He glares at her and the door opens behind Lexa. Footsteps slow and deliberate as Bellamy wanders off. Setting a plain white coffee cup on the counter and pouring hot coffee into it before scooting it across the counter. “There you go Clarkey. On the house today.”

 

“Thanks Bell,” Clarke's voice is quiet. Strained almost and it pains Lexa to listen to it but she turns her head. Letting herself take in the blonde who sits quietly several seats down from her but she hasn't seemed to noticed her just yet. Shes too intent on the coffee, sipping at it slowly. Her blonde hair pulled back into a messy bun and a speck of green paint just above her left eyebrow.

 

That familiarity of her returns in full force as she studies her. Scanning her body but shes just in a pair of old blue scrubs with paint stains and a loose t-shirt beneath her long tan coat. The blue of the scrubs isn't what she remembers seeing. Its faded. Washed out but it is still familiar. She remembers them from days gone by but she knows that's possible. Shes been in a hospital before for a concussion after a minor car accident. Swerving to avoid a reckless driver in the road but driving into a ditch instead on graduation night from Yale.

 

But those scrubs are different on Clarke. They mean more and she stands at the thought. Crossing to sit down next to her and studying the scrubs again before the blonde notices her. Staring at her through tired blue eyes that spark in confusion then sadness.

 

“Lexa?”

 

“Blue scrubs.” She looks up and meets her eyes. “I remember blue scrubs but while I realize that I should only remember from my hospital visit.. I remember them from somewhere else. Somewhere completely different from those nurses I saw in that hospital.”

 

“You.. you were in a hospital?”

 

“Yes, I swerved to avoid hitting someone but I ended up in a ditch. They took me to the hospital for a concussion but..”

 

“You remember them from something different.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Is that all?” Her voice sounds different, it carries an air of hope and Lexa shakes her head. “What else?”

 

“I'm not sure,” the hope that had begun to reflect in blue eyes dies. “You look and sound familiar but when you touched me you didn't feel familiar. It felt new like seeing you should have felt and I don't know why. I have seen your blue eyes on me before. Before I met you that night at the gallery, I have seen your hair before that night as well but I don't know why I feel that way or where I've seen them.”

 

The gears seem to be turning in Clarke's head. Lexa can see that by the way she nibbles at her bottom lip. In the way her fingers stroke against the surface of her coffee cup. Her eyes flicker between Lexa's, focusing first on the right then the left before she lets out a breath.

 

“I see.” Clarke looks away after a moment.

 

“It bothers me.” Lexa quickly tells her, hoping to draw her attention again.

 

It works as the blonde looks at her in confusion. “What?”

 

“I can't stop thinking about you and wondering where I know you from.. it bothers me.” She repeats again and turns her body to face Clarke more. Hesitating before touching her arm, the material of her coat rough against her fingers. “But I want to know why. I want to know why I remember you without exactly _remembering_ you. I want to know _you_.”

 

The blonde is silent for a moment but then she nods. “I used to be a nurse but I quit to pursue art.” She says with a smile and Lexa's heart skips a beat again. “What about you Lexa Woods? What do you do?”

 

“I'm an architect.”

 

Clarke's smiles brightens, “that's great.”

 

Lexa isn't sure how long they sit there and talk. Shes barely aware that Bellamy flashes her a smile and keeps them stocked with drinks or food when it comes time for it. She isn't aware of when the sun sets and the bar fills with the night crowd. She isn't aware of when the bar empties for the night because Clarke is still right there.

 

And by her side is the only place she wants to be.

 

It is the only place that feels right for her to be in.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in one sitting so all mistakes are mine.


End file.
